In this process of change in my life, I began to feel this overwhelming sense of inadequacy. I felt that nothing I could do would ever be good enough. This is feeling is completely natural for humans. We all seem to doubt ourselves and what we truly can accomplish. But if we can look past our doubts and fears, we get down to the idea that we will never be good enough. I was thinking for a long time about this, and then it dawned on me. We are inadequate so that we do great things, God can be shown in us.

1 Corinthians 2

¹When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. ²For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. ³I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. ⁴My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, ⁵so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.

We all come to Jesus in weakness and fear. Being eloquent and wise are not things that come soon. To become the vessel that God truly wants us to be, I would say that to a certain degree we have to be inadequate.

Dear God, take all of my weakness and shortcomings and turn them into something amazing. Use me for what you want. Shine through me so that everyone will know that it had to be you working through me. Lastly help me to be humble enough so that I stay usable, and do not become conceited. Amen.

Just like Private Ryan, we as Christians had someone lay down His life for us. James Ryan never asked those men to come get him, and those men never asked to go get him. God the Father sent His son Jesus to us so that we could be saved in the end. I’m sure that Jesus did not want to die, but since it was the Father’s will He did it.

Philipians 2:8 “And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

This story makes me wonder if I have wasted my life… I know for a fact that I have not done everything I can to reach people for Jesus. Sometimes, I have done the complete opposite. But with Christ it is never to late for redemption. He stands at the door and knocks, all we have to do is open the door and let him dwell within us.

We all have been given the gift of life. Just like Private James Francis Ryan, we have been given a simple command, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” We have not been given this life for nothing. We have to earn what we have been given…

Have you wasted you time here? Or have you earned it?

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  ”Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work.  While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam.” So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

Stop Here and Reflect Before Reading Ahead

Okay so let me set this picture up.  Pretend you are a blind man.  You have never seen anything- seriously, nothing, you were born blind. You do not even know what your own face looks like.  One day as you are going about your business, a man walks up to you.  His name is Jesus and you can tell by the noise of the crowd he is being followed by many people.

In Jesus’ time, it was believed that if someone was handicapped that they or their parents had sinned.  That is why the disciples questioned whether he or his parents had sinned.  Jesus told them that the man was born blind so that the work of God could shine through him.  Then Jesus leaned down and spat in the dirt. He took the mud in His hands and placed it on the blind man’s eyes.  I do not know about you, but if a man just put mud on my face I would explode. But the blind man did not freak out.  He simply waited for Jesus to speak.  Jesus told the man, “Go, wash in the Pool of Siloam.”

Now the blind man had a tough choice to make. Would he go and do as Jesus commanded; or would he just go home, wash off the mud, and get on with life?  The man made the right choice—went and washed—and to his amazement—came back seeing.

In doing this miracle, Jesus rocked that blind man’s world.  But we must realize that it took some effort on the blind man’s part as well. ”What effort?” Well I am glad you ask.  It says in verse seven that “the man went and washed, and came home seeing.” You see, the blind man had to have enough faith to go to the pool.  When he got to the pool, he had to act upon Jesus’ command.  When he did, he was rewarded with his sight.  The formerly blind man submitted to Jesus’ authority and was radically changed.

This story reminds me of a simpler time, not so long ago. (Actually it was like last year, but you can use your imagination.) Usually when it comes time for a large test, a teacher will have mercy on their students’ souls and will give a study sheet.  This study sheet is like Jesus telling the blind man to go wash. The study sheet for the test has all the information that we could need, but we have to study it and learn the material. Jesus gave the blind man all the tools to be healed; the man just had to act upon Jesus’ words . . . and he was sure glad he did.

We, as believers, are also commanded by Jesus to go.  Just as the blind man, when Jesus tells us something to do, we can choose to do it. The blind man could have simply gone to his house and remained blind, but he trusted Jesus and was changed forever.  As Christ followers, we also must go and do His work. Then and only then will see His awesome, supernatural power.  He probably will not ask us to go wash in a pool, but He has commanded us to go.

I am going to do His work, you should come too . . . you never know what might happen.

A DENIAL

For a long time I have been denying some things. I have ignored the obvious errors of my direction. Instead of changing this direction I simply have continued to dig a deeper whole for myself. Andy Stanley, author of The Principle of Path says, “The choices are now. The outcomes are later. The decisions you make today have ramifications down the road.” I have to understand that my denial of the problems in my life will cause major problems down the road unless change is made.Ultimately, Stanley goes on to say is that, “Direction not intention determines destination.”  It really does not matter what I WANT to be doing, what matters is what I AM doing. Which led me to start to question my lifestyle.

A DEBALCE

Debacle not a word used very often, but explains perfectly what has happened to me. It is defined as a complete collapse or failure. In my life, as of late, I have completely failed in many ways. I have become something I never thought I would. I have become spiritually cold and lifeless. I have not been in the Word like I should be, I have not been talking to God, and I have just stopped getting fed. It cannot be justified either. Matthew 4:4 says, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God’.” You and I cannot go without being fed from our Creator. This debacle or failure has led me to make some crucial choices.

A DECISION

In this New Year season people always like to make New Year’s resolutions. I am sorta against those because it seems like no one ever achieves their lofty goal. I prefer to go with choices and life style changes. So here is mine… “From now on, I chose to live the life God has called me to. I chose to embrace his plan for my life. I chose to surrender control to Him.  I chose to be the person of substance that I need to be. Because He is my King.”

We are allowed to believe in anything we want to. You may belief that spending money and fall break to come down to Bolivia and work is silly. Personally I belief it is the most incredible experience of my life. I have been thinking about the concept of belief, and I have come up with three beliefs I hold to be essential.

#1. I belief our worship to God is mandatory.

Romans 1:21 (Message)

What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn’t treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life.

I am not a real big Message guy but, I really liked the way it put this verse. I refuse to “refuse” God. I belief that we are required to worship him. We have to treat God like he is supposed to, we become trivialized. The last thing I want to be is “trivial” in the eyes of God.

#2.  I belief that His work is the most important thing ever.

James 1:27

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

What we are doing here in Bolivia is exactly this. Rich and Sandee Farthing have been using there gifts to take care of widows and orphans for many years. They are some of the most incredible people I have ever met. What they are doing here is going to change Bolivia. I truly believe that they are going to shake the strongholds and foundations of this corrupt culture. Through God, through the Bolivian Hope Center they are going to rock the world.

#3. I believe that God can use me.

I Chronicles 29:9

The people rejoiced at the willing response of their leaders, for they had given freely and wholeheartedly to the Lord.

If we give freely and wholeheartedly to the Lord, we can be used for His glory. I honestly belief that we are called to be His vessels. The things I am doing here in Bolivia may seem trivial and minute, but none the less our God sees the big picture and weaves our work together to create something spectacular.

I truly believe that Bolivia, even thought it the poorest country in South America, is full of people who believe they can rise up for God’s greatness. Do you believe that we can change the world? If not… this may be the wrong religion for you.

As we left Nashville, I thought to myself this trip is going to go off without a hitch. Why do I say things like that? When we arrived in Miami International Airport we had to recheck our luggage from American Eagle to AeroSur. The AeroSur counter however does not open to check bags until 7 P.M., so we had some more time to waste. When they finally did come to the counter we all checked our bags normally without any real problems. When we boarded the flight from Miami to Santa Cruz, I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. For some strange reason the plane had to stop and “refuel” in Columbia. We sat on the ground for two hours in Cali, Columbia (possibly the drug capital of the world). I cannot imagine that this was just a stop for fuel, but whatever. After an unbelievably long two hours we took off.

The next part of this journey begins to get worse and worse. When we arrived in Santa Cruz customs took a little longer than we had hoped. Subsequently the group was separated between Laura and John. Laura, Makennah, Ben, Kelsey, and I went on ahead to board the plane. Little did we know that John and the others would not make it through customs in time to make the plane. So we left half of our team in a foreign city with no way to contact them. When we got to Cochabamba, we expected to only be able to get the luggage we had tags for. But we were sorely mistaken. Our luggage was left in Miami. So basically we almost lost half our group, we almost went crazy during some drug deal in Columbia, and we will not have any clothes until Sunday.

As frustrating as this may be, I have not be upset about it. Yeah, I would love some new socks, but what can be done? What Satan intends for evil, our God can turn and show his glory through. I believe that I am in the right place at the right time. My life will be changed by this trip. Mark my words, “I will be a better Christian because of the trials I conquer.

Check back tomorrow for more posts.

Last Tuesday all of the seniors took a field trip to some locations that we could do our Senior Service at. The first place we went to was Tennessee School for the Blind. I had seen that school everyday for almost two years without thinking about what actually happened there. I remember, when we pulled up, feeling that this would definitely not be where I would be doing mine. When we went inside I expected to see blind people all over the place just wandering aimlessly, but something completely different greeted me. We were taken into an auditorium, which I was stunned to see it was nicer than ours. After about five minutes a man walked in with a young lady. I turned to look at her and was amazed to she that she was walking with a blind person’s cane. I have always envisioned blind people in a whole different way. I wrongly thought that they would act totally different that sighted people. I feel guilty even saying what I used to think

The young lady’s name is Hannah. She was born with her sight. When she was fourteen, she developed a tumor that caused her to loss her eyesight. I feel so guilty in that auditorium listening to her. I have my sight and I take it for granted every day. When she was asked, “How did it make you feel to lose your sight?” She replied nothing really. It did not make me upset, it is just another challenge to overcome. I do not know about you but, I could not have the attitude that she has. I would be furious if I lost my sight. I would most likely beg for people’s attention and pity.

I think that sometimes, we can get so caught up in daily life that we take for granted the most basic things like sight. In the Bible many time Jesus healed the blind. In Mark 10:46-52 he heals Bartimaeus.

Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus, was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.
“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”
“Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

I now realize that I was the “truly blind” one at that school. I was acting as if I am the only person who has problems. Hannah has the best attitude of anyone I have ever met. I wish I could be half as positive as she is. Even though she does not know it, she has changed me. I hope to do my senior service there and pay that school back for what it has done for me.

“Rabbi I want to see!”

At one point in the movie Carter states that in a survey 94% of people said that they would not like to the time of their death. Carter and Edward had that knowledge forced on them. Carter always seemed to think he would like to know; he thought it would be liberating. I believe it would be a burden to know. You would have to realize that you were never going to do something that you wanted to or even needed to.

Romans 13:11-12

Another reason for right living is that you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for the coming of our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So don’t live in darkness. Get rid of your evil deeds. Shed them like dirty clothes. Clothe yourselves with the armor of right living, as those who live in the light.

We as Christians also have a type of “cancer.” Sin is a cancer. It kills everything it comes in contact with. As followers of Christ we need to understand that we do not know how long we have. “Time is running out,” the verse says. I know that I have only one more year to impact the lives’ of the people in my school and my youth group. Our Creator has given us only a small period to minister to His people on earth. We must recognize the most important things in life and be people of substance. To be of substance is an idea that has continually come up in my life recently. I want to be something in His kingdom, even if that means being nothing on the earth.

During the course of the movie, Edward and Cole began to bond and revel different parts of themselves to the other. As the year is winding down the two go to Mt. Everest. They were going to climb to the summit but storms did not allow them to. They then agree to next spring come to try again. Over that winter Edward and Carter both pass away. Edward’s assistant Thomas, following the wills of the two, take their ashes to the summit of Mt. Everest and bury them. While they did not make it to the summit while they were alive, they did achieve their final goal.

We will never make it to the summit on our own. We have to do our best to minister to those around us and worship God. In the end if we finish the race, God will take us to the summit.

For a long time I have wanted to be able to write and express my feelings, but I have not been able to muster up the courage to do so. Never the less here we are. I promise you this: I’m not perfect. I never claim to be, but I want to be the very best I can be for Him. I will try to share with you the awesome things that God is working and doing in my life.

I want to be a person of substance. When I die, I want people to say that God used Nate for His glory. Being a youth pastor is what I feel I am called to be. Now that I feel that, I have to chart a path to end up at that destination. The summer before last was deemed the “Summer of Love” in our youth group. During that time I became insensitive to the work of God in me. I became the lukewarm Christian, that God so blatantly hates. This summer though was the “Summer of Death.” It was the death of the stupidity I had previously lived in. The “oh I have all the time in the world to follow God, I can play now” mentality that had consumed me. I realize now that I has so much to gain from this thing called Christianity. I need God infinitely more than He needs me. I do my best to choose each day to be all He wants me to.

Judges 13 (Follow the Link to the passage-its to long to paste in, and you need to know the story)

This is the story of Samson’s parents. We here a lot about Samson’s life but I never read about the time leading up to his birth. In the story Manoah’s wife was sterile and could not have kids. An angel appeared to both of them and told them they would have a son. Manoah did not doubt the fact that this would happen, he simply did not know who the angel was. When Manoah asked who the angel was, the angel replied that he was astonished. While Manoah and his wife were giving an offering to God the angel disappeared into the flames. Seeing this Manoah screamed we are doomed to die for we have seen God.

We as Christians can sometimes be like Manoah. We think that God is out to get us, when really, it is the opposite. God is a loving God who is on your side. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Manoah’s wife said it best in “If the LORD had meant to kill us, he would not have accepted a burnt offering and grain offering from our hands…” Their son grew up to be a Judge who slew thousands of the Lord’s enemies.

If we can believe that God is in our corner and on our side, there is virtually no limit to the things we can accomplish.

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